Asking Eric: Nobody will tell me how my friend died, and I’m thinking of involving the law

Dear Eric Via complete happenstance I have in recent days become aware of my oldest friend s death about a year ago Related Articles Asking Eric My son begged us not to bring up our grievance to his touchy in-laws Asking Eric Should I give up my girlfriend for a coworker I might not even like Asking Eric I do not want to be involved in the girls trip How do I extricate myself Asking Eric Doesn t the mom see how her dream trip looks to her anxious daughter Asking Eric I located out my daughter is having a party and I m not invited Mary and I grew up across the street from one another in the s and s I played with her and with her older brother as kids and our families were close She had been my friend for about years I have been desperate to learn the circumstances of her death I have googled my brains out and followed up every lead There are no obituaries available online and no death notices either There are no newspaper articles about her death Her attorney s secretary won t let me talk to him citing attorney-client confidentiality even though she is deceased and he withdrew himself from representing her upon her death The heir of her estate will not return my calls I can t even nail down where she died so I can file a Freedom of Information Act request with the appropriate law enforcement agencies I don t have a claim on her estate I have no ulterior motive whatsoever I just want to know what happened to my old friend I have tried everything I know I was hoping that you might have particular ideas Friend in the Dark Dear Friend You have my sympathies it can be so arduous to learn of a friend s passing and not have the closure afforded by a utility a conversation or more information It s manageable that Mary s heir and or her family want to keep the circumstances of her death private It s also manageable that there isn t much to know and were you to discover it it wouldn t give you the peace you re seeking Certain of this pursuit is likely motivated by grief That makes sense And it s perfectly natural to want to know more details about a loved one s death But details won t serve you as much as finding a way to commemorate the relationship that you had and the life that she lived Take particular time to focus on her maybe on a walk in nature or someplace that held special meaning to you both Thank her for being a part of your life and wish her well on her journey The how of her death matters but the details of her life and your relationship matter more and will help sustain you through your grief Dear Eric I read the letter from Outside Only who was unhappy that a guest at a Fourth of July party thought it was too hot outside and spent the evening inside I know you were answering the host but you were not empathetic to the guest There are several people who just cannot handle heat I am one of them Outside summer heat causes me intense physical pain and discomfort and makes it very arduous to even visit with others and enjoy a party Now that the hosts knows this is a trouble this year they could try to accommodate all of the guests by putting seating under umbrellas or in the shade of the house or setting out fans in a couple of areas How a multitude of people really enjoy being outside in the middle of the hot summer sun for hours Nebraska is Hot Dear Nebraska From the letter it sounds like the host was literally quite accommodating no word on umbrellas as it was an evening party but the letter writer spent the duration of the event inside with the guest even though the fireworks-viewing party was as they tend to be outside However not to put too fine a point on it but sometimes guests have to make a decision about whether a particular party is for them If the gathering is outside and one doesn t want to be outside one doesn t have to go Dear Eric This is in reference to Worried in Wisconsin from a substance abuse clinician who was concerned about a niece s opioid abuse Speaking as a physician make sure everyone in your niece s life has and knows how to use Narcan Only the niece can decide to pursue remedy but anyone can provide lifesaving rehabilitation if she overdoses Physician Reader Related Articles Miss Manners The wedding dinner is for couples only but I can t invite a dead man Dear Abby Is the one-year rule a real thing when it comes to dating Asking Eric My son begged us not to bring up our grievance to his touchy in-laws Dear Abby They say I ruined their mother s funeral video Asking Eric Should I give up my girlfriend for a coworker I might not even like Dear Physician Narcan a brand name for naloxone a medication that is used to rapidly reverse opioid overdoses is an significant deposit It is available in chosen cases for free and prescription-free through chosen state and local agencies and region distribution programs It comes in multiple forms including a nasal spray Bystander training can be completed in less than an hour and is available online through organizations like the Red Cross and various states Department of Physical condition While naloxone can reverse the effects of opioid overdose per the National Institute of Drug Abuse it is still imperative to call instantly so that the individual can receive attention and continued monitoring Send questions to R Eric Thomas at eric askingeric com or P O Box Philadelphia PA Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas com